September has been a fraught month for Chinese-Swedish diplomacy, as the fallout from a melodrama involving a family of Chinese tourists and a Stockholm hostel has escalated into a firestorm of international controversy.
Chinese rap star Pissy, for one, was not content to spectate from the sidelines, knowing full well that with militant flow comes the patriotic responsibility to drop heat-seeking bangers on foreign adversaries.
It was only appropriate that an emcee whose nationalistic bars have garnered praise from no less a critical authority than the Communist Party Youth League jump into the pissing match. And so the comically bad English-language diss track “Hey Sweden” came into being, one that I submit, with high confidence and minimal experience in the diss genre, deserves a place among the very worst:
It begins with a relatively neutral recounting of the incident that triggered this whole spectacle:
First things first / Couple days ago / the Chinese family arrived at a hostel / in Stockholm, your capital city / About 2 a.m., they got nowhere to go / They just wanna stay in the lobby / Cuz the reservation was for the next night / tired and anxious prolly / They were like down and down in a valley, in panic / Then the police removed them from it
All facts, as they say.
But it doesn’t take long for Pissy to tap into the raw nationalistic rage that is his hallmark:
What da heck was going on with this? / Is it cultural difference? / you just don’t give a shieeet
Western nations, Sweetie Sweden / always talk about human rights, pay attention
You don’t know how to treat your guests / None of us would do the same to the guests we have
Pour one out for Sweetie Sweden, whose prime minister was just ousted in a vote of no confidence by the country’s far-right faction, leaving a power vacuum at the precise moment when it most needs strong leadership.
Then comes this artful segue into the hook:
Now everybody raise your hands / Let’s count 1, 2, 3 to the hook
And the hook, well, the hook slaps:
Hey Sweden, Hey Sweden / Where the f*ck is your civilization
Hey Sweden, Hey Sweden / What’s wrong with you? / What’s your problem?
Hey Sweden, Hey Sweden / How could you be so rude without a reason?
Hey Sweden, Hey Sweden / You ’bout to feel the power of the Chinese nation
The power of the Chinese nation, force to be reckoned with though it may be, is manifestly not vested in Pissy.